


Tandem

by flawsinthevoodoo



Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Cannonical Character Death, Gen, Tumblr: jaegercon, spoilers for the movie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-09
Updated: 2013-08-09
Packaged: 2017-12-22 23:00:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/919028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flawsinthevoodoo/pseuds/flawsinthevoodoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Drift is like nothing else and it has been a gift and a curse for Raleigh Becket.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tandem

**Author's Note:**

> This is an unbeta'd fill for The Drift space on my Jaegercon Bingo card. Please let me know if anything went terribly wrong in my writing.

The first time they drift it is like coming home, it is like Christmas morning, it is like long awaited hug and at the same time it is none of those things. There are no words to describe the feeling of being someone else completely. There is no act that can compare, no event that can come even close, to touching the sensation of drifting. In The Drift he can feel himself being torn apart, reduced to nothing but impressions and emotions, only to be re-made, put back together as a new whole. As their consciousnesses muddle together exhilaration flows through him/them. He/they can never be left behind. He/they will never be alone again. The feeling is perfect, they think with a touch a glee and no small part arrogance, they are perfect and nothing can touch them.

However wonderful the connection from The Drift felt , disconnecting felt a hundred times worse leaving both pilots feeling shredded and a little nauseous. There was something supremely uncomfortable, something off, about being alone in their own heads after being so intertwined. No one in the program talks about after The Drift, but looking back Raleigh could see the effects in the way partners hover near each other as if drawn together by some inexplicable gravity. The way there were more shoulder bumps, hugs and handholding. The way they walk together, sit together, eat together. He realizes now that they were, unconsciously or not, trying to regain the closeness of The Drift, to get rid of that pinched, curdled feeling in their guts and the tenseness in their shoulders as they re-adjusted to being one person as a singular not a plural. As pitiful as physical contact was in comparison it was all they had, he thought to himself as he leaned in closer to Yancy's side, tension relaxing as he slung an arm around Raleigh shoulders.

Years later as Raleigh felt first his arm torn from its socket and then his brother/soul/other-half torn savagely from his mind he hates the drift a little bit. No one should have to feel their brother die. He was not in pain, not frightened, he was numb. His mind in a state of shock kept reaching for the raw spot where Yancy used to be and finding only empty space. Nothing could have prepared him for that moment the waves of desolation that crashes over him, the agony of being alone, really and truly alone in Gipsy Danger. He would not be able to tell the doctors at the base what had happened after Yancy died because he did not know. He body went through the actions but the only thing on his mind was Yancy, Yancy, Yancy.   
For weeks after the event he sat in the medical wing of the ShatterDome as people, techs, doctors, other pilots, even the Marshal at one point, tried to get him to talk about something, about anything, but he was lost in memories, more Yancy's than his own. He spent hours reliving moment after moment through the fragments of his brother captured in his head. When he finally spoke it was only to tell them he was leaving. He could never drift again, he might lose what was left of Yancy and he didn't think he could survive losing him twice.

**Author's Note:**

> come find me at [ my tumblr](http://flawsinthevoodoo.tumblr.com)


End file.
